single at last...

[m44ic]

ok I am finally single after a one and a half year relationship, we always argued a bit more than we should have and it really started to get sour the last few weeks. It was what you could call a long distance relationship, ok not really we just went to different schools. She was one of those girls who has SERIOUS mood swings, omg did she ever. when I would come over and pick her up at the end of the day she would be a raging beehoch to everyone untill she ate, then after that she was an angel. And the smallest things that I did always pissed her off, it was getting to be rediculous. plus she had cheated on me,.....twice. So I said enough is enough, I mean when we were going out we only saw each other on the weekends and she didnt have any friends so she always had to be with me, it was getting to the point were I couldnt see my friends, I couldnt work cause she would get pissed and most importantly I couldnt work on my car :biggrin: . And because she had anxiety issues she was always depressed and would just take it all out on me. I did the best I could to be simpathetic and understanding but after a while I just couldnt take it anymore. My friends and family who had witnessed it first hand dont know how I put up with it for so long. So after one night when she went off on me cause I told her I wanted to hang out with my friends for once, I said thats it, its over. I felt sad and relieved at the same time, I think it will take a little time before I am completely over her. Then a week after we had broken up she calls me on a saturday night at 2AM, piss drunk, and tells me that she was messing around with people and she had been even before she was drunk. :x :no: . It felt like someone had just kicked me in the face, I was so sad, and yet angry cause I still had feelings for her. Its been about three weeks know and I havent talked to her, and Im doing better but I am still pretty bitter about it. :x I dont care anymore, for all I care I hope bones every person she can find and gets an STD or something

[durnadupa]

She cheated on you twice before?! Damn man, I dunno how you put up with that...
I mean if mine cheated on me and I found out I would never speak to her again, well after a good yelling and screaming, maybe a backhand across the face...
But trust me in the end it will be better for you, it sounded like it was not good at all, so being without her will help you out in the end

[mickd]

I think most younger women nowdays have serious mood swings, at least the ones I had been involved with. One of the reasons I haven't been in a relationship in quite some time. I wish the woman in my life were as good to me as my ti, that car has never let me down in the 9+ years I have owned it. And even if it did break, it could be fixed. I know it probably doesn't help much right now, you will be better off in the long run from your description of the relationship. Take it easy man, sounds like you need a serious outing with the guys. Hope you can make it to the RA get together.

[2ndBimmer]

I dated a girl for 1.5 years myself. She cheated on me right before I was about to propose (Yes, I was that dumb).

That was a terrible scene. I ended up in the psych ward for the night and over the next 3 days lost 10 lbs from not eating.

I should have seen the writing on the wall that she wasnt the one from the beginning. She didnt like the 3 Stooges, didnt know what Star Wars was, and there were a few below the belt issues ill not mention here.

Now not that I would like to run her off the road and piss on the wreckage, then plant a bootheel in her face as she tries to crawl away... you know Im not bitter.

But one thing I can recommened is some easy listening with mr Sam Kinison: the hurt man's hero.

[usagi]

you did the right thing dude. you are better than most too. most guys would go back and start begging (me for one, out of despair). Three weeks is good. Keep it going. You'll find a better one. We all got to go thru that. Always be a man, be a gentleman, don't drop your moral to meet others.

[cali-ti]

there really isn't much anyone can say during such a time, but we'll try anyway :) pain makes us grow and that's a simple fact. if you have no truly painful times in your life, you won't grow to fill your potential. accept the pain, it'll dull and then be gone in time. the best thing you can do with it is learn from it and carry what you've learned with you. i agree with usagi in taking the high road. you'll only prove you're better than she is and there's no sense in demeaning yourself, you're better than that. what does her calling you all drunk tell you? that she no longer cares one iota about you? ha! quite the opposite. she getting all drunk and fooling around (so she says anyway), but yet she's taking the time to call YOU. too funny. laugh out loud at it, because it's pretty damn pathetic, don't you think?

rack up the experience and take away from it what you WANT and NEED in a relationship. there's no place in a caring and loving relationship for the type of crap that it sounds like you had to put up with. NONE. you should be able to be completely yourself with the one you end up in a long-term relationship with. i'm quite certain i've finally found that. i'm going to be 35 this year. perhaps i'm lucky to have found it as early as i did. imho, high school and college (all your early relationships i guess, regardless of when) are meant to help you determine your likes/dislikes and must haves/can't stands in a relationship. take it as a good painful lesson, all the best ones are. return your friends and hobbies back into your life, but only to once again regain what and who you are, not to avoid feeling the pain. face the pain and allow time to heal it (i don't believe in that "time heals all wounds" at face value ... if you never face the pain, i don't believe it ever goes away). when you go out and hang out without her, think, "hey ... i don't have to do it with her, i don't have to 'check in' or be glued to her ... i can breathe!"

you'll be fine ... you ARE fine. and good job on that strut bar too :biggrin:

[m44ic]

thanks guys for all the support, its good to hear this stuff :)

[L84THSKY]

Here's my two cents....

I'm 40 years old and divorced. I traveled all the time while in the Air Force stationed in Europe. I NEVER cheated on my wife, even when the marriage was in trouble. I realized it wasn't gonna work, and we got divorced.

Bottom line is....I could have cheated on her, when I was away in Italy, Israel or many other places I spent months at a time. But I wouldn't be getting away with anything. At the end of the day, I would have to look at myself in the mirror and admit that I was a cheating , dishonest husband. I didn't want to go through life with that guilt, so I decided to keep my dignity and get divorced.

My current GF is 27, and I am 40, we have been dating for 2 1/2 years, and have been completely faithful. In the end, you always have to live with your actions, so you fool no one, including yourself, when you do the wrong thing.

Keep your dignity and integrity, and as Spike Lee said....."Do the Right Thing"!

Eric

[MEDIA PUSHER"]

minus the cheating I could swear your talking about my girlfriend.

[96cali]

One word... REBOUND. Get that nasty taste out of your mouth my friend and find yourself a short term, fun relationship. Beauty and brains don't count BTW. Officially you cannot be judged on a rebound girl. Even better if the girl you're with is on the rebound too. Some hot lovin there, just waiting to happen....HOO WAH!!

Kudos for bearing your heart on this board too. Very brave. And I support the advice L84thsky gives- take the high road which it seems you did. Move on. Find something new and constructive like swapping in a 6 cyl!

[bluebastion]

you could also join the nerds and eagerly await the arrival of Episode III!

[aceyx]

m44ic; tough break man, it happens to the best of us. i'd go so far as to say it happens more often to the nice guys, but i can't verify that since i haven't been one for a few years. i mean i still value integrity and loyalty but . . . well, that's a topic to be discussed over a few beers.

i'm with mickd in the "weird with my car" thing, but i can guarantee that if things kept grenading on me, i'd just say that it wasn't worth it at some point and sell it. and then go find a newer model like L84THSKY did. :biggrin:

in all seriousness, sometimes things are more trouble than they're worth, and it's best to move on. get over it first though, because it's not fair to the next girl and if you don't, to some degree she's won.


aside: anyone notice that L8 took the "half plus seven" rule to the T? well done my friend. ;}

[m44ic]

One word... REBOUND. Get that nasty taste out of your mouth my friend and find yourself a short term, fun relationship. Beauty and brains don't count BTW. Officially you cannot be judged on a rebound girl. Even better if the girl you're with is on the rebound too. Some hot lovin there, just waiting to happen....HOO WAH!!

Kudos for bearing your heart on this board too. Very brave. And I support the advice L84thsky gives- take the high road which it seems you did. Move on. Find something new and constructive like swapping in a 6 cyl!

as far as having a guys night out and a rebound, 's :biggrin: Im one step ahead :biggrin:

[Dredder]

You should be glad be cheated on you or else you would have a gf. There are just way too many freaks out there for you to stay home and marinate. This is where your friends come in handy. Get the hell out and start mackin. You can be the ugliest f*cker as long as you know how to talk youll be alright.

[cali-ti]

lol ... can sure tell the "old guys" from the "young punks" on here, lol

[m44ic]

You should be glad be cheated on you or else you would have a gf. There are just way too many freaks out there for you to stay home and marinate. This is where your friends come in handy. Get the hell out and start mackin. You can be the ugliest f*cker as long as you know how to talk youll be alright.

as a matter of fact my best friends girlfriend introduced me to a lovely lady named Heidi who will be visting me this weekend :lol:

[nick_hegel]

Sounded just like my ex girl of 2.5 years. Sad thing is I wanted to propose, but changed my mind at the last minute(pulled head out of ass). Can be a very painful experience but u can learn a lot. Keep on truckin!!!!!

[96cali]

lol ... can sure tell the "old guys" from the "young punks" on here, lol

I am 36 with wife and child, think I know where I stand in that group (sigh)...

[2ndBimmer]

I am 36 with wife and child, think I know where I stand in that group (sigh)...


And Im now messing around with a recent divorcee who's 36 and has two kids... :twisted:

and yes, she prefers to take my car.

[aceyx]

2nd, i keep getting you and robcary (i think) messed up due to the similarity in your avatars. at first (since i know he's in the high school range) i was like WHAT? :?

[schussey]

2nd, i keep getting you and robcary (i think) messed up due to the similarity in your avatars. at first (since i know he's in the high school range) i was like WHAT? :?

haha yea, I get them mixed up as well. ALL the time.

-chris

[cali-ti]

LOL ... high school kids working on "nailing" 36 y.o. mothers of two ... what has this site come to??? LOL

[JPerfect]

yeah i was going out with this one girl for almost 2 years, back in the high school days, and everything was great, she was hot and everything, sex was great, but then she started bugging out when i hung out with my friends, and i got pissed when she was with all of her single slutty friends because that labeled her one of them... she always hung out with other guys and crap, then i found out that she had "only cheated on me for social purposes" several times. I was like bitch, be gone! Lol, i wish... i was pretty messed up for a while, but then i had the taste of revenge.

I'd make sure i went to every party she went to, and my mission... well i'll get into that... but she had 4 BEST FRIENDS, all of which were hot. So after i was done moping around about that biatch, I set a goal for myself, and in three months, i accomplished it. I got with all four of her friends. I kinda felt bad at first... we had been broken up for nearly a year... so i just kept my mouth shut. (mind you her friends had no idea either). I wasn't out to destroy any lives, but I had proof that I was with them at one time or another, taking innocent photos of us sitting by the computer or on the couch cuddling; (NOTHING PERVERTED, didn't want to get arrested), I did take the role of panty snatcher, and the best part is I got a pair of underwear from each of them.

So just about a year later, I recieved something in the mail, it was a summons, she was sueing me for pain and suffering from an accident that had happened exactly 1 year and 11.9 months earlier. Bitch. In this accident, she did smash my dashboard with her face and cracked a few teeth (THAT I PAID FOR)... So i filled out all of my paperwork, stating what was on the police report about her NOT WEARING HER SEATBELT PROPERLY, and i gathered my panties on a trek to find a nice box.

Found the box, and put all the pictures, and trinkets, and all that other wonderful junk neatly inside. Yes, the panties were in there, with pictures of her individual friends stapled to each... I suggested in the letter that if she didnt believe me, ask them if they had lost the panties.

Sure enough, I recieved another summons for harassment, but that one was dropped. Strangely enough, my ex flipped out so bad on her friends, that they all hate her now, and i'm with a girl presently that had beat her up once long before i knew her.

that's my story of revenge.

the end.

Oh and by the way, the car accident was in my old Hyundai, which eventually led me to buy my ti. I could say that accident changed my life for the better.

She cries every time she sees me, but i feel she deserves it. She currently has a boyfriend, and he drives a ricer honda. I raced him, with her in the car... my gf was in my car (screaming). And I beat them.

[cali-ti]

Lol!!!!

[2ndBimmer]

LOL ... high school kids working on "nailing" 36 y.o. mothers of two ... what has this site come to??? LOL

Hey! Im well out of highschool!
I finished that 5 years ago!

[m44ic]

yeah i was going out with this one girl for almost 2 years, back in the high school days, and everything was great, she was hot and everything, sex was great, but then she started bugging out when i hung out with my friends, and i got pissed when she was with all of her single slutty friends because that labeled her one of them... she always hung out with other guys and crap, then i found out that she had "only cheated on me for social purposes" several times. I was like bitch, be gone! Lol, i wish... i was pretty messed up for a while, but then i had the taste of revenge.

I'd make sure i went to every party she went to, and my mission... well i'll get into that... but she had 4 BEST FRIENDS, all of which were hot. So after i was done moping around about that biatch, I set a goal for myself, and in three months, i accomplished it. I got with all four of her friends. I kinda felt bad at first... we had been broken up for nearly a year... so i just kept my mouth shut. (mind you her friends had no idea either). I wasn't out to destroy any lives, but I had proof that I was with them at one time or another, taking innocent photos of us sitting by the computer or on the couch cuddling; (NOTHING PERVERTED, didn't want to get arrested), I did take the role of panty snatcher, and the best part is I got a pair of underwear from each of them.

So just about a year later, I recieved something in the mail, it was a summons, she was sueing me for pain and suffering from an accident that had happened exactly 1 year and 11.9 months earlier. Bitch. In this accident, she did smash my dashboard with her face and cracked a few teeth (THAT I PAID FOR)... So i filled out all of my paperwork, stating what was on the police report about her NOT WEARING HER SEATBELT PROPERLY, and i gathered my panties on a trek to find a nice box.

Found the box, and put all the pictures, and trinkets, and all that other wonderful junk neatly inside. Yes, the panties were in there, with pictures of her individual friends stapled to each... I suggested in the letter that if she didnt believe me, ask them if they had lost the panties.

Sure enough, I recieved another summons for harassment, but that one was dropped. Strangely enough, my ex flipped out so bad on her friends, that they all hate her now, and i'm with a girl presently that had beat her up once long before i knew her.

that's my story of revenge.

the end.

Oh and by the way, the car accident was in my old Hyundai, which eventually led me to buy my ti. I could say that accident changed my life for the better.

She cries every time she sees me, but i feel she deserves it. She currently has a boyfriend, and he drives a ricer honda. I raced him, with her in the car... my gf was in my car (screaming). And I beat them.

nice work, this gives me a few ideas :evil_lau: :biggrin:

[robcarync]

i love nailing 36 year old mothers...i find that the more experienced ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves!

me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and a half too...we are still doing relatively well...though lately she has been blowing me off to hang out with her freinds last minutes (like every weekend for the last month or so).

started a month ago...senior night at her lacrosse game...after the game she said we'd hang out...but she ended up hanging out at her lacrosse friends house with 6 other girls. i was invited too...and i hung around cause i was friends with all of them too...too bad with 7 girls talkking...the lonely guy gets COMPLETELY ignored. the whole time they talked about cute guys and girls on the lacrosse team they didnt like!

the next day she was like 'ohh im soo sorry...i didnt even think about how awkward that must have been for you...i promise ill make it up to you next weekend!'

next weekend...we watch 'jersey girl'...and she falls asleep

'oh im sooo sorry ... i promise ill make it up to you next weekend...

friday she falls asleep at like 10 oclock...

saturday...she told me shed hang out...but then at 10 oclock i get a phone call saying she is actually hanging out with her lacrosse friends at a lacrosse team cookout. screws me over because its too late to make any other plans or anything (guys were already gone for the night).

im so sorry, ill make it up to you next weekend...we can watch a guy movie and do whatever you want etc etc etc...

friday (which was like 5 days ago friday)

my friends birthday is tomorrow so i have to go shopping, i have to make a scrap book page for my lacrosse my coach, and i have to be in by 10 because state lacrosse championship is tomorrow...so yeah...she pomises to hang out with me tomorrow and make it up to me (again)

saturday they win the state lacrosse championship...we head to one of the players house for a little after party for players, friends, coaches, and parents etc...

before we get there : "im kinda tired, we will probably leave and head back to my house soon"

well im hanging out with her...and shes ignoring me talking to all her girl friends...so i walk around and talk to all my other girl friends and a few guys...

then shes like...actually im going to sleep over at erica's house (lacrosse player) because her mom is letting the team stay over...and we are going to some keggers til 3am...(and she doesnt even drink)

is it wrong of me to feel ignored when she falls asleep at 10 oclock with me...and stays up all night with girlfreinds?

anyway....its not like i dont like her to hang out with her lacrosse friends or whatever...but she has developed the habbit of saying she will hang out with me....so i tell my guys friends i cant do anything...hanging with the girl tonight...and then at like 10 shes like nevermind i cant hang out/dont want to

it kinda leaves me screwed over for the rest of the night...

then yesterday i was sick and wasnt at school...she had to work at 4, leaving her an hour before she needed to be at work. the day before, she said shed hang out with me until then...i know i was sick...but it would have been nice for her to visit me to see how i was doing etc (my house is on the way to her work)...instead she calls me ...asks how im doing....i start to say something...and she starts laughing and talking to her girlfriends...then says ...hope you feel better, im going to ahsleys house (lacrosse player)

yeah...obnoxious....thats my story

[JPerfect]

wow, dude... that sounds EXACTLY like my ex. LIKE EXACTLY! only it wasnt with lacrosse friends, it was her cheerleader friends, which is even worse... and they never invited me places because it was always "girls only" which meant NO BOYFRIENDS ALLOWED. Though some of my friends always managed to sneak in.

I say, you should make plans with her, but make plans with the guys instead, and just ditch her ass, and be like listen, im really sorry, and be really sincere and be like, i'll make it up to you tomorrow. Then the next day, make plans, and just don't call her... and later, be like oh im sorry, my phone died and i forgot. I'm really really sorry, i'll make it up to you next weekend. Then if that doesnt affect her, just don't give a ****. That's the best way to get a girl to cling to you for dear life. That's why guys always get ugly girls following them around... because they don't care about them. Get a hottie, and you actually try. In their sick minds, that's war! I've learned, from experience, just don't give a ****. Make like you do at times, but don't.

then if things fall apart, who cares?
and if things are better than ever?
you'd love me to say i told you so.

right?

[robcarync]

wow...my girlfriend is a cheerleader too!

haha yeah...i somehow get invited to some lacrosse things cause im friends with every other girl on the team so they dont mind me... but lately it just seems shes been blowing me off completely...

[m44ic]

Ha I knew this would happen, ok she called me last night after a month of not speaking to me and says "I miss you I need a hug and Im depressed cuz I have no friends" and then I said well thats sucks what are you tellin me for?
and then she said " please understand I need you to be here for me right know" and then I sad ha when were you there for me when you cheated on me and treated me like sh!t, yeah its suck know that everyone knows your a whore doesnt it, have a nice life. and then I hung up, it seemed kind of harsh but I feel better know and she deserved it.

[robcarync]

harsh...yeah...but from what it sounds like, she deserved it...it feels good to stand up for yourself every once in a while...

[cali-ti]

i love nailing 36 year old mothers...i find that the more experienced ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves!

me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and a half too...we are still doing relatively well...though lately she has been blowing me off to hang out with her freinds last minutes (like every weekend for the last month or so).

started a month ago...senior night at her lacrosse game...after the game she said we'd hang out...but she ended up hanging out at her lacrosse friends house with 6 other girls. i was invited too...and i hung around cause i was friends with all of them too...too bad with 7 girls talkking...the lonely guy gets COMPLETELY ignored. the whole time they talked about cute guys and girls on the lacrosse team they didnt like!

the next day she was like 'ohh im soo sorry...i didnt even think about how awkward that must have been for you...i promise ill make it up to you next weekend!'

next weekend...we watch 'jersey girl'...and she falls asleep

'oh im sooo sorry ... i promise ill make it up to you next weekend...

friday she falls asleep at like 10 oclock...

saturday...she told me shed hang out...but then at 10 oclock i get a phone call saying she is actually hanging out with her lacrosse friends at a lacrosse team cookout. screws me over because its too late to make any other plans or anything (guys were already gone for the night).

im so sorry, ill make it up to you next weekend...we can watch a guy movie and do whatever you want etc etc etc...

friday (which was like 5 days ago friday)

my friends birthday is tomorrow so i have to go shopping, i have to make a scrap book page for my lacrosse my coach, and i have to be in by 10 because state lacrosse championship is tomorrow...so yeah...she pomises to hang out with me tomorrow and make it up to me (again)

saturday they win the state lacrosse championship...we head to one of the players house for a little after party for players, friends, coaches, and parents etc...

before we get there : "im kinda tired, we will probably leave and head back to my house soon"

well im hanging out with her...and shes ignoring me talking to all her girl friends...so i walk around and talk to all my other girl friends and a few guys...

then shes like...actually im going to sleep over at erica's house (lacrosse player) because her mom is letting the team stay over...and we are going to some keggers til 3am...(and she doesnt even drink)

is it wrong of me to feel ignored when she falls asleep at 10 oclock with me...and stays up all night with girlfreinds?

anyway....its not like i dont like her to hang out with her lacrosse friends or whatever...but she has developed the habbit of saying she will hang out with me....so i tell my guys friends i cant do anything...hanging with the girl tonight...and then at like 10 shes like nevermind i cant hang out/dont want to

it kinda leaves me screwed over for the rest of the night...

then yesterday i was sick and wasnt at school...she had to work at 4, leaving her an hour before she needed to be at work. the day before, she said shed hang out with me until then...i know i was sick...but it would have been nice for her to visit me to see how i was doing etc (my house is on the way to her work)...instead she calls me ...asks how im doing....i start to say something...and she starts laughing and talking to her girlfriends...then says ...hope you feel better, im going to ahsleys house (lacrosse player)

yeah...obnoxious....thats my story

i have a one word answer for this story ...

DUMP

no need to play her like she plays you, just dump her ass and be done with it. can't stand chicks like that. she's basically treating you like **** over and over again and your just taking it. no need to. no one deserves that. don't treat any one like that and don't accept treatment like that either. i have two words for you baby, "be gone!"

[barische]

rob ignore her and talk to all of the girls u see, make her jealous. u gotta ler her know that u are not her little bitch, ignore couple of her calls the first time and call her back and tell her u are busy.

u gotta stand out from the rest of the crowd man. dont be like all the other guys out there being their girls little bitch and doing whatever the girls wants them to do, be and man and do what u want and u can tell her what u guys are doin and when u are guys are doin somethin and if she doenst wanna do it, ignore her and go hang out wiht other girls or ur buddies.

in my opinion not many people that go out during high school get married anyway, so go have fun man. Go out with as many girls as u can, and have fun.

hopefully i didnt offend anyone, just trying to help.

[cali-ti]

if you offended anyone with that barische, they're way too uptight any way ;) somehow, this has become a country where people think they have a right not to ever be offended. imho, that keeps people from really saying how they feel so that an open an honest dialog could actually be had and perhaps some progress made. it won't happen with people walking around on eggshells. we have a nice place here where people can voice their opinions; whether people agree or not, each person has a voice and can be heard.

i agree with your high school comments for the most part. from my perspective, as long as both people in the relationship (whatever form it takes) are on the same page as to what they're expecting and wanting from the relationship, then it's all good. it's when one person hides things, keeps secrets and does things behind the other's back that upsets my sense of right/wrong. just don't get why people can't be decent to each other. hate all this bs gameplay ... just say what you want and what you mean!

[aceyx]

thumbs up to cal-ti's comments.

rob; it seems that she wants you to be around at her whip and whim--when it's convenient for her. as a result you're getting screwed (or technically, not) along the way. if you still like this girl, there's no reason to dump her. just don't put up with the bs. but lay it out straight and clear--there's no reason to resort to the same games she's playing.

if she's all excited about this lax thing, let her be. be happy for her. but also make her realize that she's ignoring you in the process. if she continues to do so, drop it. it's never worth the frustration.

it's bad of her to try and have you wrapped around her little finger, but it's even worse of you to allow her to do that. just call her out on it.


and of 36 year olds . . . is anyone familiar with the term "cougar"?

[robcarync]

yeah i still like her and everything.

lacrosse season is over...and like the lax championship...i mean you only get to be state champions every so often, so id understand whyd she want to go party with the rest of the team and everything.

i'd probably be mad at her more but i know she legitimately feels bad that she doesnt have time...she told me i should break up with her because she didnt have enough time for me and such...

but i just told her that it makes me feel bad cause i want to spend time with her and she doesnt have that much time...so if i broke up with her...id go from spending a little time with her to no time with her...which wasnt what im looking for

dont know if that makes sense to you guys though.

ironically enough, friday night is 'senior night' with senior activities and stuff...and 'senior superlative' winners are getting recognized at the assembly...and me and my girl won 'cutest couple'...so we are supposed to get recognized together...

guess who has to work and cant make it :)

thats right...im getting cutest couple award by mysef!

anyway...as for lacrosse goes...im also realizing she is friends with these girls...and most of them, she wont see when she goes off to college...or at least wont see as much...so shes trying to hang out with her friends a few last times before they all go off.

its kinda hard for me because i dont do any sports/activities so therefore i dont really have any 'close commradery' as a team member and whatnot...so i probably wont understand...

anyway...im working on this thing called the 'scarcity principal'...my best firends girlfriends mom told me about it (she knows everything...) but basically shes used to me being around all the time no matter what...so i have to dissappear for a while...and she'll realize she was taking me for granted...either that or she'll realize she can live without me and im not that important...but hey either way ill find something out!

[nick_hegel]

robcarync

If you really like her then yeah stay with her. BUt it would be a good idea to make yourself busy with other things and less available to her. I played hockey three years in high school and was super close to my whole team, but both my girl and my teammates knew I had to spend an equal time with both. She should learn to balance the two otherwise she isn't worth staying with(no matter how much you like her or how beautiful she is) IMO and btw have fun at your award acceptance!!! lmao

[Severian]

To the OP, m44ic, a lot of people have said a lot of things so far on this thread. I'll just say that I had a relationship exactly like yours. Mood swings, posessiveness...man we faught every week. I broke up with her 4 months after I proposed to her (in the middle of wedding plans). I couldn't help it...she didn't make me happy.

I later married someone 8 years older than me who already had three kids. I'm the happiest I've ever been! We play computer games together (city of heroes and world of warcraft, to be exact). Heck, we play them with my 15 year old step son and 10 year old step daughter! We think alike, we're both very logical and honest. She makes me happy, and you'll find someone who does that for you. Don't rush it, and certainly don't worry about it. Worry about your car, though!
:)

[m44ic]

To the OP, m44ic, a lot of people have said a lot of things so far on this thread. I'll just say that I had a relationship exactly like yours. Mood swings, posessiveness...man we faught every week. I broke up with her 4 months after I proposed to her (in the middle of wedding plans). I couldn't help it...she didn't make me happy.

I later married someone 8 years older than me who already had three kids. I'm the happiest I've ever been! We play computer games together (city of heroes and world of warcraft, to be exact). Heck, we play them with my 15 year old step son and 10 year old step daughter! We think alike, we're both very logical and honest. She makes me happy, and you'll find someone who does that for you. Don't rush it, and certainly don't worry about it. Worry about your car, though!
:)

thanks man, glad you found someone special :)

[L84THSKY]

After reading all these comments, I must be dating a saint. My GF is very loyal, would never cheat on me. She can sometimes seems selfish, maybe it's because I'm 40 and she is 27. Maybe I am doing the same thing and don't realize it.

I have never married/dated a woman who cheated on me, but if I did, it wouldn't hurt as much as being lied to costantly. That was a situation I was used to by my ex wife, and previous GF.

I'm not clairvoyant, so I can't feel guilty about not knowing what any person might do in the future. What really hurts is looking someone in the face, and being told a lie. The reason is it takes two people for a lie to be successful. I made a fool of myself for believing it, so I let myself down.

Never feel bad about anything someone has done wrong to you. They are fully responsible for that. Your job is to learn from it, and not let it happen again.

As the saying goes,"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!"



To the OP, m44ic, a lot of people have said a lot of things so far on this thread. I'll just say that I had a relationship exactly like yours. Mood swings, posessiveness...man we faught every week. I broke up with her 4 months after I proposed to her (in the middle of wedding plans). I couldn't help it...she didn't make me happy.

I later married someone 8 years older than me who already had three kids. I'm the happiest I've ever been! We play computer games together (city of heroes and world of warcraft, to be exact). Heck, we play them with my 15 year old step son and 10 year old step daughter! We think alike, we're both very logical and honest. She makes me happy, and you'll find someone who does that for you. Don't rush it, and certainly don't worry about it. Worry about your car, though!
:)

[aceyx]

rob - take a blow up doll to the ceremony. fully expect administration to confiscate it. also expect everyone to tell you it was a good joke.

and the scarcity principle is true. just don't intentionally blow her off (eg participate in the game) but keep yourself busy. it's a difficult balance to reach.

[robcarync]

LOL ...i was actually thinking the blow up doll would be good....with my lacrosse stick duct taped to her hand!

im not intentionally blowing her off...but like i said...im staying busy...i kinda realized that im always available to her...so shes taking me for granted (not necessarily purposely)...

but anyways, the first 17 months of our relationship...we pretty much spent all of our time together...not ALL...but most of it...so hanging out with her other friends is fine and all...its not like shes been blowing me off since the begining (if that were the case, we wouldnt be together right now)...just towards the end of lacrosse season...with all the senior activities and such

ironically, she had to work today again at 4, which means she had time to kill befoire work...yesterday she said we'd go grab a smoothie or something and hang out before work...but wait! nope nevermind, lacrosse meeting after shcool, cant hang out!

she couldnt really do anything about it...it was mandatory (time to turn in the school jerseys and such), and she didnt find out til today...but given recent events...it seemed kind of humurous...

she apologized a bunch and felt bad (its not like she had a choice, though)...and said she knew it bothered me that she was so busy, to which i was like "nah, not really", and she was like "it doesnt bother you that we dont get to see each other much?" (i know she knew id been complaining about her...i told my sister, sister told her friend at work, who is friends with me/alyssa(gf)...so im sure she heard about it somewhere)...and i was like "well it did at first, but ive kinda gotten used to the fact that you have a busy life with better things to do than hang out with me"

anyway...basically, im waiting for school to be over so she will have more time to do stuff (tomorrow is senior awards day/field day, so that school day doesnt really count...and seniors can be exempt from exams...so i have 1 exam i have to take on tuesday...its an afternoon exam so i can sleep in (its really easy too)...then im done forever!)

then on a good note, she suprised me this morning with a big box of milk duds! YUM! then i ate the whole box and felt sick the rest of the day :(

im still debating on whether or not i should hang out with her tomorrow after the senior night assembly stuff...anyway...life will go on

[durnadupa]

Since we're all pulling out the girlfriend stories... I was good friends with this girl for a while, december-ish of 2003, and we got really close. I did not take her to junior prom, but did have fun with her afterparty (ie prom story thread.) We hung out more often and finally started "officially" dating since June of last year. Now it started off great and the summer was awesome, we had alot of adventures and stuff.

As the school year started to droan on things changed, she takes alot more classes than I do so she is always busy with work, meanwhile im a lazy senior. She is a smart girl and got into a real good school, meanwhile I am going to Montclair State with a a full ride. She was friends with one of my friends long before we started speaking in school, and they used to be close. And I know she still has feelings for this guy, she hasn't told me but you can tell. She constantly brings him up in conversations and whenever he is around I am left out and left as the "third wheel." Now I don't want to bring it up, or don't really know how to, because then disaster will start.

I'm good to her and do almost everything she asks of me, help her out, etc. Meanwhile this kid is not necessarily mean to her, but not nice to her, yet she still wants his company. Now I am not conceited but this kid and I are on the same level of looks so it is not that. I don't know what to do about it, college is coming up soon so we won't really last (she's going six hours away). I try to ignore it, but everytime i see it, it gets me more and more pissed off. She must notice that I know, but whatever...

[m44ic]

Since we're all pulling out the girlfriend stories... I was good friends with this girl for a while, december-ish of 2003, and we got really close. I did not take her to junior prom, but did have fun with her afterparty (ie prom story thread.) We hung out more often and finally started "officially" dating since June of last year. Now it started off great and the summer was awesome, we had alot of adventures and stuff.

As the school year started to droan on things changed, she takes alot more classes than I do so she is always busy with work, meanwhile im a lazy senior. She is a smart girl and got into a real good school, meanwhile I am going to Montclair State with a a full ride. She was friends with one of my friends long before we started speaking in school, and they used to be close. And I know she still has feelings for this guy, she hasn't told me but you can tell. She constantly brings him up in conversations and whenever he is around I am left out and left as the "third wheel." Now I don't want to bring it up, or don't really know how to, because then disaster will start.

I'm good to her and do almost everything she asks of me, help her out, etc. Meanwhile this kid is not necessarily mean to her, but not nice to her, yet she still wants his company. Now I am not conceited but this kid and I are on the same level of looks so it is not that. I don't know what to do about it, college is coming up soon so we won't really last (she's going six hours away). I try to ignore it, but everytime i see it, it gets me more and more pissed off. She must notice that I know, but whatever...

try ignoring her just a little bit, try to seem disinterested just to see if really does want to be with u and if not, thats her loss not yours.
good luck

[robcarync]

i hung out with my girlfriend yesterday after work...

she was in a bad mood in general...

then she got mad at me becuase 'i always try to make her happy' ... and apparently it makes her feel bad when we do whatever she wants to do...so she said she wanted me to pick a movie or whatever we did tonight...i pick 'gone in 60 seconds', and shes like falling asleep on the couch and stuff...

she also said that hanging out with me is a chore because i always make her pick what we do (she is a bit indecisive)...so i was like damn homey...

so i left her house and told her to go to sleep...she didnt even want to walk me to the door...

i dont get it...she gets mad at me for trying to make her happy?

favorite quote from my pops:

"when talking with women, logic and common sense go out the window"

another good quote from a nazi camp survivor:

"i cant control what you do to me, but i can control how i react to it"

so yeah whenever stupid stuff like this happens, i just quit feeling bad about it...waste of time...she'll get over it...and if not..oh well

[JPerfect]

NowShe is a smart girl and got into a real good school, meanwhile I am going to Montclair State with a a full ride...

You go to MSU? I live a few minutes away over in Wallington. I might be going there next spring. I have a lot of friends there. I'm currently in Bergen Community College, aka "harvard on the hill."

[durnadupa]

I am in Lodi now, which is actually really close to Wallington. I have a cousin in Wallington and spend some time there. I am going to be going to MSU next year as a freshmen, right now I am still in highschool...
Can't wait for it to end tho.

[robcarync]

i hung out with my girlfriend last night...

had one of the best nights ever...we hung out from like 3 in the afternoon til 1am...and she was completely normal...

go figure...

[JPerfect]

who is your cousin? how old is he/she?

[durnadupa]

Her name is Annete, she has been out of college for some time... Probably around 26 years old by now...

[JPerfect]

I probably don't know her, I'm only 19 so she's a bit old for me to have interacted with in school or anything.

[durnadupa]

Probly not, she is due to get married in a very short time. Her and the fiance just got a MB CLK350, very nice and fast. I like.

Wallington is a very polish town, you polish by any chance? One of my friends used to hang out there alot, cuz of his gf, but not now due a nasty breakup.

[bluebastion]

Guys, the posts on this thread just help me to more appreciate my wife :) She's the bestest wife ever.... and btw I love her. :) And to those people who don't think guys have hearts... they should read this thread.

[robcarync]

wow we must be a bunch of sissies....sitting around talking about girlfriends and our inner feelings...

we should be sitting around doing manly and macho things...like scratching ourselves and burping...


blahhh yeah im a big softee...me and my girl have our arguements....but i still love her tons

[cali-ti]

Guys, the posts on this thread just help me to more appreciate my wife :) She's the bestest wife ever.... and btw I love her. :) And to those people who don't think guys have hearts... they should read this thread.

lol ... i'm not sure that all the posts would reflect your statement blue, lol! i finally found a woman whom i love and has met the core set of needs that i have for a mate. i'm (going to be) 35 and she's 33. it took a damn good while to find her and i feel quite lucky to have done so. she feels the same way.

men and women are different. women vocalize while men tend to internalize. those who want to say that women and men are the same are fools (imho). i don't WANT women to be the same as men. each has their own good/bad qualities to bring into a relationship and to impart on their children (if they chose to have any).

rob, i would HOPE you love her, otherwise i would have to wonder why the hell you're still with her :) btw, we don't always love those who are right/good for us, but i don't believe we choose whom our hearts will love either. feelings are not controlled by logic, that's WHY they're feelings. we all have love and loss in our lives and in the end it all teaches us something. we learn and grow through pain (assuming we face it and don't avoid dealing with it) so take those painful times for what they are.

[durnadupa]

Went to the movies last nite with her to see Madagascar... (good amusing movie by the way) and then I did not no this but the "guy" and his/my friend joined us. I just let it go, I am not one to bicker over these things, but it was alrite. Then throughout dinner I wasn't really included in the convos and I just sat quietly. She knew that there was something wrong, cuz I wasn't my normal self which is usually happy and energetic. But everytime she sees that I am not ok, she asks what's wrong, and I can't find it in myself to tell her what it really is.
The movie was pretty funny but still the whole thing was bothersome. Whatever school is almost over, and college is coming. I am just gonna let it go.... for now.

[robcarync]

HOLY CRAP!

happened to me today lol!

we were going to a bunch of graduation parties and such cause we graduated saturday...

we were at a girls cookout/pool party at her house....and i was like the only one that would get in the pool...i finally get out and my girlfriend tells me to come sit next to her...i do...and i sit quietly...and shes talking with all her other friends there....i wait a while....doesnt notice...i go jump on the trampoline a bit...do some flips and such (thought about doing a flipping dismount into the grass...but my girlfriend told me not to)...anyway...then she comes over....and a bunch of other people hop on the trampoline, so i go back and sit down...and shes like ... "rob why are you avoiding me...you left me sitting back there, i come over to the trampoline, and then you go back..." i quit jumping on the trampoline because a bunch of other people got on, and she started yelling at me about my flipping dismount (fear of my safety/life)...so the rest of the party i followed her around and told her i didnt want to leave her so she wouldnt think i was avoiding her...kind of a sarcastic comment...she didnt like it too much lol

later that night, we are at my house in my room...with my sister and her boyfriend hanging out and talking...my sister and my girlfriend start talking...and once again i get left out of the conversation (so did my sisters boyfriend lol)...well i tried to talk and stuff, but i realized no one was paying attention...so i went upstairs to the 3rd floor to watch some tv or something..she didnt like it too much that i left her then either

then at her house later that night...we are just hanging around and im not upset or anything...but then she decided to watch 'pretty woman' because it was on tv...which happens to be the movie that was on tv two nights ago...but we only caught the last half...so she decides to watch it from the begining...(even though she has seen in billions of times) odd how she 'hates' it when she has to make decisions all the time...but i honestly think she loves choosing everything...so she is glued to her movie (which i didnt mind when it was the new part i havent seen)...but when it got to the point where we started watching a few nights earlier, i was not ready to watch it again...blaaah! so she is glued to it...commercial breaks she 'rests her eyes' aka nod off without actually sleeping deeply enough....just enough to not hear anything i say to her, but still be able to detect her movie when it comes back on...


by this time i was watching the clock ready to get out...

any shes like whats wrong blah blah blah...you always seem grumpy....

cant quite get myself there to be like "you ignored me the whole entire day, yet you still get upset if im not around with you"

trifecta from hell, thats what it was!

on a side note, as a graduation gift, i got her htis book called "why we'll never understand each other"

has a bunch of funny comic strips about how different men and women are...

i complain about her a lot...but im not really mad at her or anything...just more of an annoyance feeling like you get left out of everything

also, i want to see madagascar too! im gonna take her to see it! woo woo!

[durnadupa]

Dude you gotta see Madagascar, it is a great movie in a wierd sort of way, those penguins and lemurs are hilarious. But yeah, I am immature so that is why I enjoyed the movie so much...

Anyways, this yesterday nite I was supposed to watch Family Guy with her, ANIMATION DOMINATION, but for the second week in a row it was cancelled!!! What the hell?!
Anyways so we head back to her old town cuz some girl is having a birthday party, I decided to drive because I am on hardcore meds for whooping cough and can't drink anyways, so I would let her have some fun. I get there, and know maybe only three people who ive met before. And it was very akward considering the parents were fine with having nearly 50 kids drunk at their house. But we got out Jack Daniels taken away, cuz apparently beer is better is different from liquor... Stupid dad.

Anyways I sat around she drank a bit, got into that good tipsy mode. And left and went somewhere else, so here I am with a group of kids that I don't know trying to make some kinda small talk. I find out that one of the kids there is trying to take her to his prom, and get her to break up with me... So that was even more akward.

Haha, and after I found her and played some beer pong :drunk: (I decided that my liver can handle the few beers and massive meds) I drove her home. On the way home she felt the need to explain to me the past history with a bunch of those guys. And I didn't even get a good ending out of it... :x

[robcarync]

brutal...

i am immature too...so id love madagascar...actually my boss at the YMCA told me to take my girlfriend out to see it...,

my girlfriend said she wants to see it...but last night i got stuck watching "Romy and Michelle: In the Begining"...it is the Prequel to 'Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion"...the original wasnt too bad of a movie...prequel SUCKED big time...dumbest movie ever...but i got stuck watchinh it with her and her 15 year old sister and her sisters friend...every one there recognized the movie was horrible, but i was the only one at the point of not wanting to watch it...worst two hours of my life lol

today, i played some golf with my guys (worst round of golf ever...paid for 18 holes, left after nine because it sucked so much), and now im playing some ps2 for the rest of the night...ps2 rocks!

[MEDIA PUSHER"]

we need to start posting pics of these girls

[durnadupa]

Well, most of the pictures I have of my girlfriend... let's just say I may get in trouble for putting them up here... But they are good pictures ;}

But I think I have one from a hookah bar adventure in NYC, wen i find it i'll post it.
And another from the NYIAS, but I don't feel like uploading onto tripod... Any other way to do this?

[2ndBimmer]

we need to start posting pics of these girls

Heres the face of my demon.

[robcarync]

my girlfriend 'Alyssa'

http://www.318ti.org/gallery/data/500/492robalyssafireworks.jpg

(Photo from the fair last october...)


the other is a prom picture from april 16...as in about a month ago or so...

and a pic from senior night last fall

wooo i bet that was fun looking at those three pictures...

basically i have too many pictures and i couldnt decide which one to post...

[MEDIA PUSHER"]

This is my little heartbreaker

[durnadupa]

Here is my piece....

Her and a Maserati Spyder...

http://public.fotki.com/durnadupa/dead_tonka/dsc00304.html

I give up trying to attach, file to large.

[L84THSKY]

Do we look 13 years apart in age?


we need to start posting pics of these girls

[robcarync]

i dont think so...

you may look a little older....but not 13 years apart...

you are the older one right?

[L84THSKY]

Rob, you ass kisser.....thanks for the props :rolleyes:


i dont think so...

you may look a little older....but not 13 years apart...

you are the older one right?

[MEDIA PUSHER"]

Do we look 13 years apart in age?

Hardly, you two are fortunate enough to have that ageless look, somewhere between youthfull and mature.

[m44ic]

well boys here she is the one who started this hole thread, she sent my these prom pics last week. she is the one in the black dress.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?Uc=kblapfg.vjj2ggk&Uy=v4ak8c&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&mode=fromshare&conn_speed=1

[durnadupa]

Geez I forgot what started this long thread, and m44ic I know someone in my town who looks like an exact duplicate of her. That girl also has some serious issues though...
robcarync, that picture with the fireworks is cool, did you take it with them in the background? If so that is impressive...
l84thsky, just wanted to say that I finally figured out what your name stood for, and congrats on baggin yourself a young one.

[robcarync]

yes, that was at the state fair...my friend took the picture at night during the fireworks show...

a future photographer i think...he actually took all of those pictures i posted...

[cali-ti]

well boys here she is the one who started this hole thread, she sent my these prom pics last week. she is the one in the black dress.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?Uc=kblapfg.vjj2ggk&Uy=v4ak8c&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&mode=fromshare&conn_speed=1all i can say is ... D00D! what's up with that hair? LOL
Do we look 13 years apart in age? :blink:

this has to be one of the funniest threads i've ever read! if i can recombobulate the bits, i'll see if i have some of the "demons" still on my 'puter (they were all excised from iphoto awhile ago, quite happily too).

EDIT: ooooohhh ... the EVIL!

[m44ic]

ha since we have broken up she has gotten 2 drinking tickets at the age of 17, she is so stupid, she goes to these huge parties in quiet neighboroods where the houses are like 3 inches apart and she wonders why she has such bad luck with drinking. and its all because I am not there to keep her out of trouble, now she cant go to college cause she was relying on her swimming schollarship to go to school but cause she is like suspended for like the hole year she cant get a one. My my how the tables have turned, she goes from being able to go to any school she wants to barely able to get in the local Tech college, and me on the other hand get accepted to UTI and I just got a new job at Zimbrick the biggest local car dealerships in the area. :biggrin:

[John Firestone]

Well, there is an old proverb: The fairer the hostess the fouler the reckoning. :biggrin:

[Severian]

If people in a relationship could always tell each other exactly what they want and be 100% honest, relationships would be easy. In real life, they're best when we come as close to the mark as possible, and they're hardest when we stop talking and stop being honest.

Lots of life lessons in this thread...makes me think back to my teen years when it was easy to convince myself that, "women are just ****ing hard to understand, and I want to find a woman who isn't crazy." But lately the theory that women are just crazy has waned...it just doesn't apply, boys. Instead I've focused on my own personality flaws. Luckily I found a woman who's willing to do the same thing on her end, and because of that we're both trying really hard. So far it has worked wonders, but man relationships & marriage take a lot of WORK!!

[cali-ti]

If people in a relationship could always tell each other exactly what they want and be 100% honest, relationships would be easy. In real life, they're best when we come as close to the mark as possible, and they're hardest when we stop talking and stop being honest.i agree. although it's hard with a woman as it seems they don't really know what they want much of the time and when they do and you give it to them, then they find that's not REALLY what they wanted.

Lots of life lessons in this thread...makes me think back to my teen years when it was easy to convince myself that, "women are just ****ing hard to understand, and I want to find a woman who isn't crazy." But lately the theory that women are just crazy has waned...it just doesn't apply, boys. Instead I've focused on my own personality flaws. Luckily I found a woman who's willing to do the same thing on her end, and because of that we're both trying really hard. So far it has worked wonders, but man relationships & marriage take a lot of WORK!!it's good to remember that women are not generally logical creatures, especially when dealing with issues of love/feelings. their brains are wired different than ours. they feel emotions something like 5-10 TIMES stronger than we do, that's why they're ruled by them. from our perspective, they appear crazy because logic is out the window when feelings are welling up inside them. we would probably be the same way if our brains were wired like that (and the world would be INSANE, lol). there was a good saying i saw somewhere, "marriage is a lot of heart work." those who are searching for the perfect relationship that provides happiness all the time and doesn't require any work because the two people involved are just perfectly matched with each other are delusional to the point of irrationality/insanity ... nothing like that exists.

[Severian]

i agree. although it's hard with a woman as it seems they don't really know what they want much of the time and when they do and you give it to them, then they find that's not REALLY what they wanted.
That's because the honesty failed. Insecurity plays a huge role in relationships...it often masquerades as seemingly unrelated things, like "natural" personality quirks. Insecurity causes fear, and fear can dominate your actions not matter what sex you are and no matter how hard you try to avoid it. For example, hot tempers, possessiveness, and control-freakish behavior are often based on simple insecurity. That's the real issue.

"i agree. although it's hard with a woman as it seems..." and "women are not generally logical creatures, especially when dealing with issues of love/feelings. their brains are wired different than ours. they feel emotions something like 5-10 TIMES stronger than we do."
I won't criticize your opinion, but I will say double check your sources for this info. Secondly, after you've double and triple checked the validity of these little factoids and determined that they are indeed true enough for you, seriously evaluate their usefulness to your relationship, because they sound like excuses. They sound like outs that you can take when all else fails, and you just can't understand why she's acting so got-damn crazy, it must be because she's experiencing emotions 5-10 times as strongly as you are. Or it must be because she's wired differently, and because she's generally not a logical creature. Then keep saying that to yourself over and over. As long as those factoids don't change, your opinion won't change, and your dispute won't resolve itself...

:)

I recommend introspection. If both parters are willing to remain aware of themselves and their own feelings and motivations, you can really make things work out in your favor in the end. ****, most of the time ALL of the pieces are there. It's the power of denial and your willingness to see what's in front of you that really decides if you put the pieces together correctly.

[/off my soap box because I'm starting to hate the sound of my own voice, ****]

[robcarync]

well, it is true that girls feel emotions 5-10 times stronger, and they develope emotional attatchments about 7 times faster than males (which is why my girlfriend cries during a 2 hour movie, and it doesnt bother me).

I also agree with Severian, that if couples were COMPLETELY honest 100% of the time, it would be easy. The fact still remains that no one will be completely honest all of the time because sometimes you just dont want to talk about things.

For a personal example, my girlfriend is extremely indecisive and never knows what she wants. Usually if she does know what she wants, she doesnt want me to give it to her because it makes her feel guilty.

On top of that, girls in general have a hard time 'receiving' (IE: accepting nice gestures). This is just due to the long engrained stereotype that women are suposed to take care of the men and serve them. Which is why my girlfriend tends to feel guilty when i do something nice for her, compliment her, buy her dinner etc instead of just accepting it and being thankful (not that she isnt thankful, just she feels guilty if i do something nice for her) This is starting to fade a bit due to the closer to gender equality we are.

Lastly, INTROSPECTION is key. I know that a long time ago, when my girlfriend and I had been going out for about 7 months, we'd get in little arguements that were stupid, and we'd both end up feeling bad. Eventually, whenever I started to feel bad, id just think to myself "Rob, pause, stop, and look at myself. Why am I feeling upset, and is it really necessary to let it get to me?" Being able to stop and recognize stupid situations while they happen or slightly before is really helpful.

Also, I still believe that there are just situations where girls are just in a bad mood and nothing can be done about it. I know DOZENS of times my girlfriend has gotten mad at me/in a bad mood because of something stupid, and then the next day she feels like a doofus.

So basically, both of you are right...honesty helps tons, but sometimes girls are just weird...

PS: i watch Oprah, which is where I got those little factoids from, and the bit about girls having trouble receiving things. If you disagree, that is fine, but I think there is some truth to it...

actually, i watched a program on discovery health channel about the differences between the sexes...found it enlightening at the time, thouigh i dont remember anything right now...

speaking of which, 4PM, Oprah on channel 13...

[cali-ti]

brains are wired differently = they have much larger connections between the halves the brain. it's physiological. our brains our different. i also just heard a study mentioned on the radio that gay men's brains are closer to women's brains.

i also 100% agree with introspection. that's the only way to grow personally and it's usually hard to look honestly at yourself. that's why we have so many childish adults running around, because they can't find the strength to do it and their growth is stunted. you can't change other people, so work on yourself and let the rest take care of itself. find someone whom you work well with (none are perfect, it's impossible) and move forward honestly and openly.

so severian, what do you respond with when your gf/wife asks, "do i look fat in this dress?" ;)

i think 100% honesty would make relationships easiER but not necessarily easy. there's always a give/take, disagreements, etc ... honesty will get you through them way better than lying or holding back on what you really think, but there will still be hurt feelings and such. our wants and desires don't always match up 100%. where'd the fun be in that anyway?

[robcarync]

a few nights ago my girlfriend was in a bad mood...although i was too...because she puts me in a bad mood when she gets upset for no reason...

it was weird...whole night was fine...until around mid night...she got mad and said i always tried to pick fights with her...couldnt provide an example...and siad she didnt want to talk about it...

weird...so after a few minutes...she was like...'well if you arent gonna talk to me, you might as well just leave'

so i left...lol...made her a bit angry...wouldnt give me a hug goodbye at all...wow~!

talked to her about it tonight...ya know honest conversation...basically, we were both in a bad mood, and it hurt her feelings when i actually left because she didnt think i really would...SUPRISE SUPRISE!

everything gets better when you talk

[Severian]

Get used to this type of thing happening on occasion. If and when you decide to commit yourself to your wife that means every day, even those days when neither of you are in a good mood. Not every day after your wedding day will be fluffy bunnies but you're absolutely right. Things get better when you talk! Hope things worked out well after that.
:)

[robcarync]

yeah man, its all good now...talking about stuff is good....which is kinda sad since my girlfriend usually isnt one to share her feelings....she tries to say nothing is wrong cause she doesnt want to talk about it, but you can still tell shes upset....so basically i end up forcing her to tlak about why shes upset...then she feels better!

[marcopolio]

Bitches...

[robcarync]

"I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one!"

Jay-Z

lol