Ouch, unfortunately single at last

[durnadupa]

Just got back from college orientation, it was so-so...
This girl is confusing the hell out of me, and I swear it is making me insane. She told me she wasn't working yesterday morning, I am like you want to do something? She is like sure, let's get breakfast. So I get my ass over there at like 10AM before my orientation, and we go to a good diner. Talk talk and talk, blah blah. It was fun, then we go to her house park in the lot and sit and talk for another 45minutes.
I can't even remember what it was about, it was just a good conversation. Then she purposely teases me with the lollipop, and I no this cuz she did it to me all the time. Then she is like ''im sorry ive been making u sad" Well, thanks? Argh, it is making me go into severe mood swings... I am only happy if I am with her or talking to her, otherwise I am depressed (but not to that point).
I don't know what to do anymore...

[roadrash]

Originally Posted by durnadupa

I don't know what to do anymore...

OK, here's a suggestion... and I don't mean this to sound preachy...

Ask yourself, "What do I want?" I.e, do you want a "friend with benefits"... a long-term relationship... or just a chick friend to hang out with? Be honest with yourself about this!! Having an answer is more important than what the answer is. Knowing what you want is the first step to having what you want.

Since you're a lot younger than me, you might want to ask that question in two parts... A) What do I want right now? and B) What do I ultimately want? As you get older, A and B will be pretty much the same thing.

Next, ask yourself, "Can this woman fill that role?" Examine the pros and cons of "her"... especially the cons. Can you accept, live with, or tolerate any negative traits/habits?

Finally ask her, "What do you want?" If she wants something different than you do, you're probably wasting your time with her, regardless of how well she fits what you're looking for. But don't be afraid to tell her what you want, and don't settle for less than what you want just because you're too scared to ask for it.

It's entirely possible that you both want the same thing, but you'll never know until you do some soul-searching and have some honest, open communication about it.

Regarding her actions, e.g., the lollipop episode (heh heh)...
There may very well come a day when you just have to tell her that her indecision and inconsistancy are making you crazy and you don't have any need for that sort of thing in your life. She needs to know that you will not tolerate being jerked around or walked on.

A lot of this comes down to respect. You have to respect yourself enough to tolerate nothing less than respect from her. Stand up for yourself, and don't allow ANYone in your life who does not treat you well.

Let me know if any of that doesn't make sense.

Oh yeah... one other thing. When asking for advice on this sort of thing, please keep in mind that everyone gives advice based on their own life experience, not yours. You know yourself and her better than any of us ever will. Don't blindly follow advice given here... ponder it a while and do what you think is right for you, even if it's contrary to "popular opinion." You have to live with the consequences of your actions, we don't.

Whatever happens, good luck!!

[robcarync]

wow you are like a genius roadrash!

excellent points...

and...what type of lollipop was it?!

[roadrash]

Genius? Nah, I've just got a bit of wisdom born of experience. I.e., I've learned some lessons the hard way. Being twice his age (and yours) doesn't hurt either. ;}

heh heh... my guess is that it was a cherry lollipop.

[robcarync]

i like blue rasberry or cotton candy flavored lollipops the best...

watermelon isnt too bad either!

[mischief]

what i hate the must is the silent treatment
when a girl stops calling you and writing you and when you call her she dose not pick up thats love

[nick_hegel]

Pics/Video of Lollipop tease or ban!!! You guys were all thinkin it, just admit it!

[L84THSKY]

I'm getting confused.

Can we get a current list of who on this site has broken up with their GF/BF recently?

Please list by login name & date of event.

Sincerely
Me

Originally Posted by durnadupa

Just got back from college orientation, it was so-so...
This girl is confusing the hell out of me, and I swear it is making me insane. She told me she wasn't working yesterday morning, I am like you want to do something? She is like sure, let's get breakfast. So I get my ass over there at like 10AM before my orientation, and we go to a good diner. Talk talk and talk, blah blah. It was fun, then we go to her house park in the lot and sit and talk for another 45minutes.
I can't even remember what it was about, it was just a good conversation. Then she purposely teases me with the lollipop, and I no this cuz she did it to me all the time. Then she is like ''im sorry ive been making u sad" Well, thanks? Argh, it is making me go into severe mood swings... I am only happy if I am with her or talking to her, otherwise I am depressed (but not to that point).
I don't know what to do anymore...

[aceyx]

Originally Posted by L84THSKY

Can we get a current list of who on this site has broken up with their GF/BF recently?

heh.

i think roadrash is pretty spot-on with his post, especially with the "what works for me may not work for you" bit. i'm amazed looking back at myself 5 years ago how i'd changed in relation to girls, and i have to say i'm very happy where i am. that might change, but i'm sticking with what works at the moment.

[durnadupa]

Roadrash, you're right! It was a cherry lollipop... I dunno how you knew that... Haha pics of the incident? Hmm, if you're looking for that sort of thing, this is the wrong site. Don't get me wrong I do have those pics though...

Roadrash, you also gave great advice. I know what you mean about this si from your life experiences. I figure, if I can get as many view points as possible, it will help me with this entire issue. And so far it's have...
She called me up yesterday saying she wasnt working at wanted to see a movie, I brought over The Pacifier, which she loved when she saw it a while ago, and we watched it. Afterwards we went to play pool and then came back home. We were sitting and she said "I am comfortable with how we are now." I go on to say this is how we have always been, we always acted like this. She told me a whole bunch of things that had bother her about me, which were all thigns that made her attracted to me in the beginning! Like my laid-back attitude, my "immaturish" antics, in general a humorous person. When we started dating that is what she said she loved about me. But now it is what she doesnt like?! She went on and started to cry and hold on to me, I mean she is killing me. "why weren't you more possesive sometimes" when I would let her hang out with her friends and me not being there. But her bestfriend who had a bf had a possesive bf, and my girlfriend told me that she loves that I am not like that. She has no idea what she wants, and she is dragging me into it but I can't help it because I care about her so much.

See roadrash, we started out as friends, gradually became better friends. Got drunk at junior prom and hooked up. we termed ourselves "acquantances with potential benefits" and we ended up hooking up a few times more among other things before I asked her out in June. And now the way I see it, it is just going through the same cycle again, she wants to hang out all the time and I am not gonna resist that. I want to see her, I tell her how much I feel about her, and I wish she really knew what I meant.