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Old 06-06-2015, 05:00 AM   #1
1996 328ti
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Default Happy Birthday roadrash, SmokedBMW23

2 members are celebrating their birthday on 06-06-2015:

-roadrash (Age: hidden or unknown)
-SmokedBMW23 (Age: hidden or unknown)


Happy Birthday!
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Old 06-06-2015, 07:38 PM   #2
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Happy Birthday in Reno! I hope you are having a blast this weekend!
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1998 318ti Sport - "Cali" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, Cali top
1998 318ti Sport - "Max" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, S52
1997 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior
1995 318ti Active - "Blanca" Alpineweib III/Schwartz leather interior

Other Current Bimmers: 2006 530i / 2000 2.3L Z3 / 1997 1.9L Z3 / 1999 540it

1997 318ti Sport - "Huera" - RIP
1995 318ti Active - RIP
1995 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Sold
1994 325i Sedan - "Jade" - Sold
1991 318ic - "Bert" - Sold
1985 635csi sold
1984 533i "Max" Sold
1984 318i sold

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Old 06-08-2015, 11:34 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by BlackBMWs View Post
Happy Birthday in Reno! I hope you are having a blast this weekend!
Thanks! It was the best birthday ever! I can't say what I did because "what happens in Reno, stays in Reno." LOL
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THIS IS A MILLPOINT BLUE INTERIOR

Mods 'n' stuff: Star Spoke 43 wheels - X-Brace - Mason Engineering front strut brace - CF gauge overlay - ZHP shifter knob - Racing Dynamics cat-back - Doubled brake lights - M-tech rear spoiler
From Page 68 of the 1997 Owners Manual: "Vehicles equipped with ASC+T remain subject to the laws of physics."
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Old 06-09-2015, 12:26 AM   #4
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Happy Birthday
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Old 06-09-2015, 07:16 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrash View Post
Thanks! It was the best birthday ever! I can't say what I did because "what happens in Reno, stays in Reno." LOL
A statement like this means we will speculate with imaginative glee until the truth is revealed...

My first speculation is as follows;

You de-plane in Reno with both William Shatner and Kaley Cuoco, being you are a major player in the Priceline game...

A hatchback limo awaits on the tarmac, ready to whisk you away to your first destination... The interior is Purple Satin...

In the back of the Limo is a Stripper Pole with... *



*At this point, I respectfully request another member to complete a portion of the adventure monologue, followed by another brave soul who can contemplate what happened next.. Remember Roadrash is both a rock star and a ti owner... The heavens converged to conceive this creation.
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Old 06-09-2015, 11:58 AM   #6
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LMAO... OMG... I nearly choked on my cereal... that's hilarious! LMAO

Certain elements of that story are similar to the truth. heh heh But, I'm retired from the rock star thing... haven't sung with the band in around 18 months. Gave away all but 2 suits several months ago.
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THIS IS A MILLPOINT BLUE INTERIOR

Mods 'n' stuff: Star Spoke 43 wheels - X-Brace - Mason Engineering front strut brace - CF gauge overlay - ZHP shifter knob - Racing Dynamics cat-back - Doubled brake lights - M-tech rear spoiler
From Page 68 of the 1997 Owners Manual: "Vehicles equipped with ASC+T remain subject to the laws of physics."
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Old 06-09-2015, 04:17 PM   #7
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In the back of the Limo is a Stripper Pole with a midget stripper boxer named Darlene, and Clarissa, an gorgeous Eurasian woman who whispers that she is your host for this weekend, holding a bottle of Patron in one hand and an Elvis suit in the other. (Strange, the suit looks exactly like the one I have at home you're thinking...)

As the lights in the cabin dim, the first six shots of Patron goes down smooth, the massage you're getting from Clarissa is soothing, while Darlene puts on her sultry routine. You notice the song on seems to be 'Hotel California'. Strange....

Around shot eight, it made damm sense to don the Elvis suit. Hell, I'm in Vega... Uh, Reno! Finally, you pull up to the Purple Satin. Your entourage enters the main room where..... *


* Next..
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1998 318ti Sport - "Cali" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, Cali top
1998 318ti Sport - "Max" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, S52
1997 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior
1995 318ti Active - "Blanca" Alpineweib III/Schwartz leather interior

Other Current Bimmers: 2006 530i / 2000 2.3L Z3 / 1997 1.9L Z3 / 1999 540it

1997 318ti Sport - "Huera" - RIP
1995 318ti Active - RIP
1995 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Sold
1994 325i Sedan - "Jade" - Sold
1991 318ic - "Bert" - Sold
1985 635csi sold
1984 533i "Max" Sold
1984 318i sold

BMWCCA #160411

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Hosting a forum like this is not free. 318ti.org is one of the best BMW forums on the web because it is member supported, not vendor supported. The cost to become a Supporter is a nominal $10.00... A YEAR! DO IT! NOW!
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Old 06-09-2015, 06:31 PM   #8
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LMAO... you guys are killin' me. Once the momentum of the story creation dies, I guess I'll be required to 'fess up to the truth, huh?

I'll give you a teaser though... I was in Reno for 30 hours... only slept about 1 of those, but was in bed for about 10 hours. And none of that is what you're thinking. LOL
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THIS IS A MILLPOINT BLUE INTERIOR

Mods 'n' stuff: Star Spoke 43 wheels - X-Brace - Mason Engineering front strut brace - CF gauge overlay - ZHP shifter knob - Racing Dynamics cat-back - Doubled brake lights - M-tech rear spoiler
From Page 68 of the 1997 Owners Manual: "Vehicles equipped with ASC+T remain subject to the laws of physics."
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Old 06-10-2015, 06:19 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackBMWs View Post
In the back of the Limo is a Stripper Pole with a midget stripper boxer named Darlene,
Lol, seriously I had originally ended the first part with "a midget stripper is dancing around the pole..." Thanks for reading my mind!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackBMWs View Post
and Clarissa, an gorgeous Eurasian woman who whispers that she is your host for this weekend, holding a bottle of Patron in one hand and an Elvis suit in the other. (Strange, the suit looks exactly like the one I have at home you're thinking...)

As the lights in the cabin dim, the first six shots of Patron goes down smooth, the massage you're getting from Clarissa is soothing, while Darlene puts on her sultry routine. You notice the song on seems to be 'Hotel California'. Strange....

Around shot eight, it made damm sense to don the Elvis suit. Hell, I'm in Vega... Uh, Reno! Finally, you pull up to the Purple Satin. Your entourage enters the main room where..... *


* Next..
The spotlight spins around and highlights your troupe. The Emcee turns and points directly at you and announces over the PA.. "Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give a rousing welcome for "The Purple "P" Elvis, and his crew, the Chartreuse Chanteuses!!!"

The house turns towards you, gasps with delight and breaks into a happy cheer of "Purple P-Elvis, Purple P-Elvis, Show us your moves, and make us jealous!", an obvious homage to you from your smash hit "Chihuahuas".

The house band kicks it into gear, the Patron kicks into your brain, the Emcee gestures broadly towards the stage, and everything starts to fit into place...

"This is where I was meant to be all along", you tell your self, as your entourage guides you to the stage, with Clarissa on one side, and Darlene using her kickboxing skills to clear a path through the adoring masses, and your eyes focus on the gleaming silver microphone, waiting for you at center stage.

Just as you reach the steps leading onto the stage, you turn towards the crowd to wave on their encouragement, and something catches your eye off to the right side of the room. Your head snaps quickly back towards the far wall just in time to see... *





(*Carry on!)
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James 95 active w/leather interior and sport interior conversion, Vaders, full M-Tech exterior conversion. Now m50 swapped* Eibach sway bars, D2 Coilovers, Depo's w/AE's, blacked-out sides and grills, LeatherZ console and door armrests, 1 series starter button mod, and custom finished Style 5's <--- in this color! Named "Roddy": *M50 6 cyl. swap with fan delete, S50 cams and chip, AFE stage 2 intake, M3 clutch and 11.5 lb Fidanza flywheel, 3.15LSD, battery relocated to rear and complete custom exhaust. Sweet! 97 318ti sport, Alaska Blue, Contours, coilovers, Dove Vaders and custom black/grey interior named "Max" 95 318ti Active in Cosmos, S50 swap in progress... named "Pit" SUPPORT 318ti.org! CLICK THE LINK ABOVE! Hosting a forum like this is not free. 318ti.org is one of the best BMW forums on the web because it is member supported, not vendor supported. The cost to become a Supporter is a nominal $10.00... A YEAR! DO IT! NOW!
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Old 06-10-2015, 06:40 AM   #10
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Your head snaps quickly back towards the far wall just in time to see the hardwood floor racing towards your head. As your body slams the stage the realization that the liter of Patron so quick, so good, was way over the top...

"Dammit Clariss....." (Fade to black... )

(Fade to light..) you are sprawled face down in bed. What appears to be blue paint stains the sheets and most of your face. WTF happened... Where am I? Am I missing a tooth? How'd I get this "Darlene Forever" tattoo across my chest?

God, it feels like I just slept for an hour, yet it's getting dark again. Have I been laying here for 10 hours? And what's with the goat?!? The mime in the armchair isn't saying a thing, I wonder if he has something to do with the paint.

Where the hell is Darlene?!? (Thinking, "Damm this is a big room... Who's paying for this?" Why is it I care about Darlene? ) it's then the doorbell rings and the pounding on the door starts, the Mime looks startled. The goat is panicking. "Dammit, where's my Elvis pants?. The door bursts open and ... *

* Next


Adding to this story is easy if you just recall your last trip to Vegas, Hong Kong, Manila, Dallas, Rio, Atlantic City or Tokyo.
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1998 318ti Sport - "Cali" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, Cali top
1998 318ti Sport - "Max" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, S52
1997 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior
1995 318ti Active - "Blanca" Alpineweib III/Schwartz leather interior

Other Current Bimmers: 2006 530i / 2000 2.3L Z3 / 1997 1.9L Z3 / 1999 540it

1997 318ti Sport - "Huera" - RIP
1995 318ti Active - RIP
1995 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Sold
1994 325i Sedan - "Jade" - Sold
1991 318ic - "Bert" - Sold
1985 635csi sold
1984 533i "Max" Sold
1984 318i sold

BMWCCA #160411

SUPPORT 318ti.org! CLICK THE LINK ABOVE!
Hosting a forum like this is not free. 318ti.org is one of the best BMW forums on the web because it is member supported, not vendor supported. The cost to become a Supporter is a nominal $10.00... A YEAR! DO IT! NOW!

Last edited by BlackBMWs; 06-10-2015 at 07:51 AM.
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Old 06-10-2015, 06:42 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackBMWs View Post
Adding to this story is easy if you just recall you last trip to Vegas, Hong Kong, Manila, Dallas, Atlantic City or Tokyo.
You forgot Pasadena in that list...
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Old 06-10-2015, 06:45 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by wolferj View Post
You forgot Pasadena in that list...
Haha! Fantasy, not nightmare locations.

Now, will we hear how Roadrash actually got the Darlene Tattoo? And what happened to Clarissa is what I want to know...
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1998 318ti Sport - "Cali" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, Cali top
1998 318ti Sport - "Max" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, S52
1997 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior
1995 318ti Active - "Blanca" Alpineweib III/Schwartz leather interior

Other Current Bimmers: 2006 530i / 2000 2.3L Z3 / 1997 1.9L Z3 / 1999 540it

1997 318ti Sport - "Huera" - RIP
1995 318ti Active - RIP
1995 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Sold
1994 325i Sedan - "Jade" - Sold
1991 318ic - "Bert" - Sold
1985 635csi sold
1984 533i "Max" Sold
1984 318i sold

BMWCCA #160411

SUPPORT 318ti.org! CLICK THE LINK ABOVE!
Hosting a forum like this is not free. 318ti.org is one of the best BMW forums on the web because it is member supported, not vendor supported. The cost to become a Supporter is a nominal $10.00... A YEAR! DO IT! NOW!
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Old 06-10-2015, 06:56 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackBMWs View Post
Haha! Fantasy, not nightmare locations.

Now, will we hear how Roadrash actually got the Darlene Tattoo? And what happened to Clarissa is what I want to know...
At least the Japanese food was good in Pasadena, better than the BBQ... Clarissa was the Femme Fatale in the last Bond movie, no?

Darlene, well I suspect that will have to wait for the Purple P-Elvis posthumous memoirs, I am afraid...
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Old 06-10-2015, 07:01 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolferj View Post
At least the Japanese food was good in Pasadena, better than the BBQ... Clarissa was in the last Bond movie, no?

Darlene, well I suspect that will have to wait for the Purple P-Elvis posthumous memoirs, I am afraid...
Ya, you're right about the Japanese food. Do over. My reference to Pasadena was trying to get the friggin broken studs out for track day. Were you thinking otherwise?

Clarissa? 6'2" strawberry blond Eurasian figment of my imagination. Or was that actually Tokyo...? It's all so blurry...

Haha! This totally got out of hand. Lucky we three didn't actually get together in Reno...
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1998 318ti Sport - "Cali" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, Cali top
1998 318ti Sport - "Max" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior, S52
1997 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Schwartz II/Schwartz sport interior
1995 318ti Active - "Blanca" Alpineweib III/Schwartz leather interior

Other Current Bimmers: 2006 530i / 2000 2.3L Z3 / 1997 1.9L Z3 / 1999 540it

1997 318ti Sport - "Huera" - RIP
1995 318ti Active - RIP
1995 318ti Sport - "Tiny" Sold
1994 325i Sedan - "Jade" - Sold
1991 318ic - "Bert" - Sold
1985 635csi sold
1984 533i "Max" Sold
1984 318i sold

BMWCCA #160411

SUPPORT 318ti.org! CLICK THE LINK ABOVE!
Hosting a forum like this is not free. 318ti.org is one of the best BMW forums on the web because it is member supported, not vendor supported. The cost to become a Supporter is a nominal $10.00... A YEAR! DO IT! NOW!
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Old 06-10-2015, 07:01 AM   #15
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Oh, and by the way, the math adds up like this;

Arrival from flight = 1 hour
Limo ride = 1 hour
club scene and aftermath = 10 hours

There are 18 hours left to this "story" that need to be told...
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James 95 active w/leather interior and sport interior conversion, Vaders, full M-Tech exterior conversion. Now m50 swapped* Eibach sway bars, D2 Coilovers, Depo's w/AE's, blacked-out sides and grills, LeatherZ console and door armrests, 1 series starter button mod, and custom finished Style 5's <--- in this color! Named "Roddy": *M50 6 cyl. swap with fan delete, S50 cams and chip, AFE stage 2 intake, M3 clutch and 11.5 lb Fidanza flywheel, 3.15LSD, battery relocated to rear and complete custom exhaust. Sweet! 97 318ti sport, Alaska Blue, Contours, coilovers, Dove Vaders and custom black/grey interior named "Max" 95 318ti Active in Cosmos, S50 swap in progress... named "Pit" SUPPORT 318ti.org! CLICK THE LINK ABOVE! Hosting a forum like this is not free. 318ti.org is one of the best BMW forums on the web because it is member supported, not vendor supported. The cost to become a Supporter is a nominal $10.00... A YEAR! DO IT! NOW!
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