Brakes - soft pedal and ABS questions

[bcp]

First issue is I can't get a hard brake pedal. Based on internet searches, this seems to be fairly common for E36s.

Braking performance is good, the pedal is just soft and has to be pushed down a long way. The pedal holds pressure and everything does what it's supposed to on starting the engine etc, so I'm confident (and let's assume) there are no leaks in the system and the servo is functioning properly.

Pads and rotors are new. I have tried two different (both second hand) MC/servo units. I cycled the ABS pump (using a Foxwell scanner). I have bled literally litres of fluid through the system - both with pressure bleeder and the old fashioned way. No air in the system.

Spec if as follows:
1996 318ti M44B19
E46 330 front rotors and calipers
E39 rear calipers
Stainless lines all round
Racing (600BP) brake fluid (Penrite)
VMax (Australia) rotors and pads

What on earth do I need to do to get a nice firm brake pedal?? Help!

[bcp]

Second half of my post is re ABS operation.

Car is a 10/1996 EUR spec build. OBD2 but with the round connector (so an early OBD2 car??).

There is an ABS light on the dash (on ignition, then goes out), and an ABS control unit in the engine bay under the battery.

There is NOT an ABS relay present.

When I brake hard to lock up/activate the ABS, there is a (presumably) ABS-like vibration through the pedal, however, the ABS light on the dash does not light up.

Is this normal ABS function?

And did some cars have ABS but no ABS relay?

TIA